If you are easygoing and never give a thought to tomorrow, have no concerns for the future, never awaken at night in panic at the demands facing you with the coming day, and have never been in near despair about the number of deadlines ahead—this note is not for you. But, for the 95% of the rest of you, I invite you to read about the lessons I am learning. Long ago I stopped keeping a personal journal, so I hope you don’t mind being my journal entry for this week.

Actually, I have been learning these lessons all my life. It can be embarrassing to consider that now into my seventh decade (I write that to ground myself in reality, definitely not to brag), I am still learning this lesson. You know I have written a lot before for you Patreon members about time and time management. It is a continual lesson in learning for most of us. The older I get, the more, not less, concern I have regarding how I spend my time.

Since it is January and a new year, however, I will share my New Year’s “resolution.” Each year I do a reset. I don’t think any of my New Year’s resolves have been any new habit or pursuit for a long, long time. Instead, I evaluate how I am coming with the hopes and goals I had the past year and consider how I can improve on those desires. Each year I become more realistic. This does not mean I fail to try anything new for fear of failure, but I resolve anew to keep aiming for the things I knew last year were most important and intentionally attempted to improve on. I know I will never arrive or perfectly execute my plans, but this does not prevent me from taking a hard look at myself in order to realign myself for the road ahead.

Even though life flies by, it also seems long. I think the analogy of running a race is very fitting. It feels like a race and we definitely are running to keep up, but it is a long race. We do weary and waver, and want to quit entirely sometimes, all along the way. Sometimes? Very frequently! I have no real life experience in running a marathon, or even a half marathon (well, no race to be precise), but have faced enough new years to know that as long as God gives me breath, I must keep going. So, I take stock anew, and ask the author of life, the master of my time, what are His ways in which I am to go. I know that His will is for me to depend upon Him whatever circumstances I will deal with in the coming year. In the times when the unexpected hurdles arise, what will be my priority, and of all the things I need to do, which are most important? To which should I devote most of my time?

As this new year arrived, I had many tasks for the upcoming conference to accomplish. I had many writing projects to complete. There are upcoming conferences with new workshops to research and prepare. My son and my father were both to undergo major surgeries and require much of my time and attention. I had study and writing to prepare for leading my women’s Bible study lessons. There will be podcast recordings and preparation for those. I will have 400+ consultations to do with homeschool moms. Many weekly commitments to family, church, and friends will start up again… and this is why it is easy to want to quit before I begin, already weary of the efforts needed ahead. But of course, quitting is not an option, as I said, as long as I have breath. Every single thing on my plate I am certain is God’s will for my life right now.

In thinking that over, I realized that I should not enter in, or continue the race, with fear, resentment, or ingratitude. That is also God’s will. This is all background for sharing my perhaps unremarkable New Year’s resolution. My resolve this year is to not fuss and complain about the load, but instead, to trust that whatever I have time and ability to do will be enough. At the heart of my anxiety to make it through is the fear of not making it, not finishing, not being able to accomplish what I need to. Can anyone relate? My limitations of time and energy are what threaten to suffocate me or render me unable to do anything today. Which task should I work on, or which number of tasks? How much time should I devote? Is there a perfect plan for doing everything and getting it done in a timely and sane way?

What I had to relinquish was that personal desire for the perfect plan. Plans are extremely valuable and necessary, and I make them every day, but what I need to let go of is the notion that there is a perfect plan that will make all things come out just right—for me, that is. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Prov. 16:9) If I say I trust Him, I must trust Him. He alone knows not only my tomorrows, but my next minute. Am I His servant, or trying to make Him mine? If the tasks seem impossible, is He not the God who has the power to give me to do what He has asked? I think the greatest miracle He accomplishes in my life is getting me to really rely on Him to order my goings.

My implementation of greater trust is to stop forecasting all the logistics. My sight is limited—not just physically, but sight into all the variables and realities that will work for or against me in my plans each day. No amount of manipulation on my part will ever satisfy. What does satisfy is to commit my work to the Lord, whose work it truly is, ask for His help, and then do the next thing. When possible failure threatens, I will trust Him with that too. I have enough experience of His goodness to know that many days do not turn out the way I thought they would—not just in a mess, but in unbelievably peaceful and delightful ways. How many times have unexpected help or canceled appointments presented themselves that opened up space I could not have foreseen?

Trust must be moment to moment, for all the moments ahead. My resolution is to refresh myself with this truth every time I think the race is too hard. I do not need to arrange my own rest, my God of rest has plenty of refreshment all along the path. I think I have missed a lot of those moments in my natural inclination to push and worry about the difficulty of the road or the twists and turns ahead. How often have I reminded myself, and all of you, that we are not our own, but belong to Him? He knows our way. In Him we live, and move, and have our being.

He has such nourishment for the race, our God who knows our hearts and hopes and hurdles. One morning I read His counsel to me and again took courage. It is not my own way I need to be concerned for, but His. “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; His going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.” (Hos. 6:3)

When Charlotte Mason’s race was over, it was discovered that there was but one thing underlined in her Bible, “This I know, God is for us.” To keep this in front of me instead of the difficulty of the race is my New Year’s resolution this year, as it has been every year that has gone before. It is not new, but it will be for the race that lies ahead in 2026. The joy before us is understanding that we are being renewed each day.