What is the first word that comes to mind when someone mentions that infamous year, 2020? Your memory may conjure feelings of fear, revulsion, annoyance, boredom, endurance. Most of us want to put it far behind and never return to it again. 

Whatever your possible negative associations, I bet you can think of some positive benefits that strange time also brought into your life. One odd one for me requires a confession. I never conquered my lifelong disgusting nail biting habit despite  many varied tricks and efforts until 2020–Remember?

—“don’t touch your face?” 

I know that for a lot of homeschool moms, the shift to being stuck at home didn’t feel all that abnormal. We are at home a lot anyhow. Still, with the gas prices today, we can even imagine those days where we only had to fill up once a month were a blessing we might like to have back. We did spend a lot less time in the car. Nothing was open. We couldn’t go anywhere. When we did go out, the hassle of the new protocol made it not exactly enjoyable. 

But, even for me with no children to chauffeur around, I got used to the quieter days, less running, and few outside interruptions. Wasn’t it peaceful? Quiet? More relaxing? Activities came to a sudden halt. There were no meetings, appointments, commitments away from home nor were there any of the related planning and duties those involvements claim on our time at home. Instead, we found some other pastimes. Lots of families I’ve talked to rediscovered the joy of eating meals together, playing board games, and reading. You know, all those things families used to do, ought to do. Necessity brought them back. There were some unexpected rewards to the enforced isolation. Kids had time to write stories, indulge in handicrafts to their heart’s content, and had time to (incredibly!) just play. Make believe became a valuable new frontier for them. We got more than caught up on our rest. Some of us even began finding time to exercise.

Then there was the rush of everything roaring back into life again. It was so sudden, it was almost disorienting, like waking up after a “long winter’s nap.” I want to suggest that, now, before the onslaught of fall busyness carries us off toward 2023, we give some thought to what was beneficial about 2020 and recapture it before it evaporates forever. Before you sign away your life to snacks for sports events, teaching classes for co-ops, car pools, gymnastics, swimming, dance, theater, music lessons—stop! How could you keep some of the space and quiet and sanity of 2020 by pretending, for a moment, that all those options are not available.  How can we get out less, become less over involved, and keep some of that slower pace that had so many great relationship and learning opportunities. 

True, loneliness was sad, but there is truth in the old saying that “less is more.” What do we really need to do and what might not make that much difference in the long run if we just pass it by?

Obviously, life cannot always be without involvement in community, and I am not suggesting that at all, just a little deliberate consideration is what I am prompting. Hindsight, otherwise known as wisdom, is 20/20. We did learn a few valuable things in 2020. Let’s not lose the lessons. That enforced slow was not as insane as the way most of us blast through our weeks. It may have been involuntary, but 2020 did discipline us to valuing some things we had even forgotten about or possibly had never experienced before.

And, I believe this is attributed to Anne Lamott, “no.” is a complete sentence. It’s perfectly acceptable to use, any time. We are not obligated to give every person a long litany of reasons for our decisions. Be courageous. Just try it. We don’t need to say “no” to everything, just enough to get one 2020 day or evening a week back. It may have been a bit too much aloneness at the time, but fencing off some measure of staying at home is rewarding. You’ll have to wait for the reward, of course. In twenty years, your children will be glad you said “no,” sometimes, that they didn’t have to stay on the treadwell whirlwind merry-go-round to have an enjoyable childhood, to experience conversation, to remember family community.

Be courageous. Quiet is not a value most people embrace, but you don’t have to answer to others.  Your children only have one childhood. Let’s add fun at home to the other experiences.